All hail Article 50 Day – let's celebrate with a bendy banana slide in Liam Fox Park and… https://goo.gl/fb/bec8OA
America finally has a leader who doesn't rely on 'evidence' to back up his 'claims' – how… https://goo.gl/fb/9NQBFQ
There is a solution to the housing crisis – peg British house prices to the cost of a… https://goo.gl/fb/BR8Nsn
Of course the US should ban Syrians – remember how all the Jews fleeing Germany were a bit… https://goo.gl/fb/8oYWIJ
Typical Europeans coming over here to steal the benefits of owning our railways https://goo.gl/fb/FMt6iJ
I've enjoyed the Southern Rail strike – it's turned Brighton station into Casablanca https://goo.gl/fb/Or0FMz
I feel like the establishment has really been given a kicking when I see Farage celebrating… https://goo.gl/fb/JEm8Z9
If Hillary Clinton could just admit she's a terrible candidate, people might vote for her… https://goo.gl/fb/BzJ2Wo
Who could have guessed that Donald Trump could be sexist and uncouth in his fifties? We all… http://goo.gl/fb/f6EnNn
The Labour plotters are right: it's definitely Jeremy Corbyn who needs to 'learn lessons… http://goo.gl/fb/0EtfRt
If Labour members are being banned for supporting other parties, then Labour MPs should be… http://goo.gl/fb/E0tZF6
Now we're doing well in the dressage, it's taking off in the council estates of Britain. You can barely move in Croydon for dancing horses.
Tonight I shall do my show, while putting out of my mind that Andy Murray is on an Olympic final. The show won't last 3 minutes. I promise.
Is shirt-pulling allowed in the Heptathlon 800 metres? What do they consider a fair challenge?
OY! IF YOU'VE FALLEN ASLEEP ON THE SETTEE, WAKE UP! NOW!
I've got a column on a colourful page in the Daily Mirror today, here's a bit on my old mate the Duke of Westminster http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/new-duke-westminsters-overnight-billions-8618584
If you liked what Donald Trump said about wiretapping, you'll love his plans for… https://goo.gl/fb/j4gK7c
One question left... Howe the hell did Eddie achieve promotion with Bournemouth? https://goo.gl/fb/qp5rzz
It's not Paul Nuttall's fault he made a mistake about Hillsborough – he can't be held… https://goo.gl/fb/3btC7y
Thank God we have a Prime Minister prepared to face down anyone over Brexit – even those… https://goo.gl/fb/GFKLIc
It's time to stop politicising celebrity deaths such as George Michael and Fidel Castro https://goo.gl/fb/tpUe4u
A Devon village has unleashed its anger toward the recent 70 Syrian arrivals by donating £… https://goo.gl/fb/65mzw6
History tells us that Donald Trump's genius idea to make a database of Muslims will… https://goo.gl/fb/HbKX2T
Of course Toby Young understands what life is like on benefits – he knows what 'rings true' https://goo.gl/fb/YJUo80
Iraq is invaded... and the first casualty of war is truth http://goo.gl/fb/zC3oap
The Labour leadership battle between Jeremy Corbyn and his critics will soon be over – for… http://goo.gl/fb/gvGEit
At last Nigel Farage has emerged to defend the ordinary billionaires of the world, like… http://goo.gl/fb/oQNDKY
I was with @billybragg as he made his comment about Corbyn, clearly in support. Who'd guess a Murdoch paper might twist the truth like that?
Where is he on a list of all-time sport stars? He can only be behind Ali in the last 50 years, that boy Bolt.
I'm about to be a judge on the Radio 4 new comedy awards. I demand to know what fool in the BBC thought I'm responsible enough for that.
Go on Greg, land in the crowd.
I'm worried if I nip out for a slash I might miss Greg or Jessica. Probably best to go on the floor.
The new Duke of Westminster's overnight billions show how little Britain has changed http://goo.gl/fb/AWDvOB
I'm glad to see David Davis 'still hasn't looked into' the economic impact of Brexit https://goo.gl/fb/vPejxw
Isn't it about time Labour realised that things aren't going too well for them? https://goo.gl/fb/S2sZPz
The House of Lords should block Brexit to remind Britain that the 'will of the people' is… https://goo.gl/fb/0Fw67Q
I'm glad well known fact-checker Donald Trump has come out against 'fake news' https://goo.gl/fb/Dq62wQ
Thank God Nigel Farage has the courage to take a stand against whining do-gooder Brendan Cox https://goo.gl/fb/N2zY0k
Thank God Theresa May is finally standing up for Christmas – thanks to political… https://goo.gl/fb/2AfO3a
Since politicians try to copy victors expect Labour's Trump inspired sexual harassment… https://goo.gl/fb/WLMBCI
Of course refugee children should face dental tests – we need to make sure we're getting… https://goo.gl/fb/fN3MF9
Thank God Theresa May is continuing the historic Tory tradition of fighting the elite http://goo.gl/fb/nd6Ofc
I feel sorry for Concentrix – sometimes it's necessary to be so tough on benefits that you… http://goo.gl/fb/XJiOF2
Thanks to the internet, there are now millions of cyber Rupert Murdochs http://goo.gl/fb/2co1ju
It's my one Edinburgh night off, I feel I should use it fully by going into space or deep sea diving. Or have a pint and watch the Olympics.
His achievements now surpass those of Einstein, and challenge those of Batman.
These women are so joyous and friendly with their opponents after a competition. They remind me very much of the Premier League.
What a boy.
Murray in another Olympic final. I reckon he could nip across town and get a silver in the dressage.